Essential Festival Kit
Necessary gear for your festival experience
Feature
Festivals can be miserable, wet bastards that'll consume you if you don't prepare yourself well enough. Like Ray Mears or Bear Gryhlls, see it as a wilderness that you must traverse and overcome. OK, you won't need to make a tourniquet out of dental floss or eat your own faeces or anything (unless strong hallucinogens get the better of you), but there's some simple but effective ways of combating the basic things that festivals throw at you that'll make everything more pleasant.
Swiss Army Knife So we've gone straight in and come across all Ray Mears from the offset. But don't worry, you won't be using this for the same thing he does – think bottle opener, tent modifier, and property defender all in one. Torch Everything seems fine when you're erecting your shoddy excuse for shelter until night falls. You have a vague idea where it is and the location of everything within it. Cut to 5am, and four meandering worse for wear friends, and the situation is a little different. A lot of your festival life will be spent drunk and in the dark – so take a torch to avoid scrabbling around like a partially sighted zombie trying to find contact lenses.
A good tent
You may have all these romantic designs of sleeping under the stars or shacking up with the first hotty you meet, but, chances are – if you're tentless, you'll be screwed. If it doesn't rain, you'll still need something to put your stuff, and yourself in – even if you spend all your time smiling and pogoing at the dance stage. And when the rains do come, it's better to have a waterproof pyramid rather than a holy sheet that your mate's mate's little brother's cousin lent you. Not to worry, you can get half decent quality for a cheap price so you don't have to bust the bank to keep dry.
Waterproof coat and wellies
Again, this is a precaution that is more logical than neurotic. If you hadn't noticed, we live in Britain, and it rains. A lot. A cheap waterproof and a pair of wellies don't take up much space, and the latter looks cool in any climate.
Fancy Dress
Oh...you thought just wearing your normal clothes you bought in H&M would suffice for a festival? Think again. This fun aspect of the musical frivolities is becoming more and more an essential part to many festivals. Of course, you don't want to be those 4 wankers who've been wandering round as Mr Blobby all weekend. But you can still be imaginative, practical and funny to join in the enthusiasm.
Meds
Things like paracetamols, plasters and Alka Seltzer can be a real life saver at a festival. Saves you running to the Medical Tent with a hangover, or ringing an ambulance because you got a paper cut. Also, prescription drugs can give you that extra incentive to get out of your tent when your head feels like it's been scooped out with a spoon. Then you can move onto the other incentives later. Like cider.
Toilet roll
An easy one to forget this, but oh so important whether you're chilling back at camp, or out on the drink in the festival arena. People aren't very considerate when it comes to leaving toilets in a fit state, so when you're too drunk to hover – a sheet or two of the white stuff goes far.
Booze
You'll want lots of this, without the extortionate charge – so it's worth taking plenty of your own alcohol. Whether you're looking to drink a few back at the tent, or sneak some lagers into the music arena down your underwear, a stock of enough booze to fell a pod of whales won't go amiss.
Condoms
With booze comes great misjudgement and lowered standards, so expect to perhaps get lucky at some stage you sexy, tottering, bleary eyed thing, you. Sex is fun, VD ain't – so take a few rubbered friends just in case a fair lady or gentleman takes your fancy.
Friends
You've booked your ticket, packed your essentials and boarded the train to the depths of Devon. Believe it or not, you're going to need some company to make the experience more wonderful. Of course, you'll probably meet the odd character along the way – that Hippy who says you have a good energy, and that strange 37 year old man who is perpetually drunk – but they won't suffice for a 4 day fun fest. Choose carefully those who you'll be kipping with as you don't want to be shacked up with a 7 foot hypochondriac and that girl you met once who is actually really boring. You want to see the same bands together, and have the same opinions on what makes a festival. You're bound to have disagreements with even your closest buds, but ensure they're the type who forgive and forget over a beverage and a dance.
Tom Ford
Swiss Army Knife So we've gone straight in and come across all Ray Mears from the offset. But don't worry, you won't be using this for the same thing he does – think bottle opener, tent modifier, and property defender all in one. Torch Everything seems fine when you're erecting your shoddy excuse for shelter until night falls. You have a vague idea where it is and the location of everything within it. Cut to 5am, and four meandering worse for wear friends, and the situation is a little different. A lot of your festival life will be spent drunk and in the dark – so take a torch to avoid scrabbling around like a partially sighted zombie trying to find contact lenses.
A good tent
You may have all these romantic designs of sleeping under the stars or shacking up with the first hotty you meet, but, chances are – if you're tentless, you'll be screwed. If it doesn't rain, you'll still need something to put your stuff, and yourself in – even if you spend all your time smiling and pogoing at the dance stage. And when the rains do come, it's better to have a waterproof pyramid rather than a holy sheet that your mate's mate's little brother's cousin lent you. Not to worry, you can get half decent quality for a cheap price so you don't have to bust the bank to keep dry.
Waterproof coat and wellies
Again, this is a precaution that is more logical than neurotic. If you hadn't noticed, we live in Britain, and it rains. A lot. A cheap waterproof and a pair of wellies don't take up much space, and the latter looks cool in any climate.
Fancy Dress
Oh...you thought just wearing your normal clothes you bought in H&M would suffice for a festival? Think again. This fun aspect of the musical frivolities is becoming more and more an essential part to many festivals. Of course, you don't want to be those 4 wankers who've been wandering round as Mr Blobby all weekend. But you can still be imaginative, practical and funny to join in the enthusiasm.
Meds
Things like paracetamols, plasters and Alka Seltzer can be a real life saver at a festival. Saves you running to the Medical Tent with a hangover, or ringing an ambulance because you got a paper cut. Also, prescription drugs can give you that extra incentive to get out of your tent when your head feels like it's been scooped out with a spoon. Then you can move onto the other incentives later. Like cider.
Toilet roll
An easy one to forget this, but oh so important whether you're chilling back at camp, or out on the drink in the festival arena. People aren't very considerate when it comes to leaving toilets in a fit state, so when you're too drunk to hover – a sheet or two of the white stuff goes far.
Booze
You'll want lots of this, without the extortionate charge – so it's worth taking plenty of your own alcohol. Whether you're looking to drink a few back at the tent, or sneak some lagers into the music arena down your underwear, a stock of enough booze to fell a pod of whales won't go amiss.
Condoms
With booze comes great misjudgement and lowered standards, so expect to perhaps get lucky at some stage you sexy, tottering, bleary eyed thing, you. Sex is fun, VD ain't – so take a few rubbered friends just in case a fair lady or gentleman takes your fancy.
Friends
You've booked your ticket, packed your essentials and boarded the train to the depths of Devon. Believe it or not, you're going to need some company to make the experience more wonderful. Of course, you'll probably meet the odd character along the way – that Hippy who says you have a good energy, and that strange 37 year old man who is perpetually drunk – but they won't suffice for a 4 day fun fest. Choose carefully those who you'll be kipping with as you don't want to be shacked up with a 7 foot hypochondriac and that girl you met once who is actually really boring. You want to see the same bands together, and have the same opinions on what makes a festival. You're bound to have disagreements with even your closest buds, but ensure they're the type who forgive and forget over a beverage and a dance.Tom Ford
